This is the beautiful Gaia Retreat just a few minutes from Byron Bay – just what the Doctor ordered.

As my strength improved I was keen to spend some time out of the house. (As comfortable as it is – I was beginning to feel like a hermit!) A weekend away with Mum also seemed like an ideal opportunity to take stock – for both of us. The whirlwind that has been the past few months just happened. We’ve talked lots along the way – but mostly about treatment/possible outcomes. While dealing in a very practical way with the reality of the situation, there hasn’t really been any time to reflect on the gravity of the situation.

Red wine and a sumptuous dessert helped the conversation along!

Being Olivia Newton-John’s retreat – there was much support for breast cancer sufferers/survivors. There were also plenty of lovely orchids and lillies – her favourites! A recent photo shoot had the star herself lounging back in this beautiful chair. Being a bit of a fan, Mum just couldn’t resist!

Without much explanation – the staff seemed to intimately understand my situation. This is one of the therapists Angelika, who expertly and ever-so-gently gave my cramped back and sides some much-needed attention in the massage room.

Although I was hoping to take part in the morning yoga and other daily activities – I was still a little delicate so opted out. I was more than a bit frustrated at needing to retreat to the room for a ‘nanna nap’, but still had a wonderful time.

Mum had a date with one of the in-house naturopaths and also took the time to explore the spectacular scenery from various vantage points throughout the property. We also sat in on the cooking class which had a Middle Eastern flavour – baba ganoush and saffron & cardamom basmati rice!

We all know you can’t underestimate the benefits of exercise. (And well..I’m not afraid to hop on the bike wearing bedsocks and jarmies!)

Just balancing on the seat was at first a little daunting, as I wasn’t able to put my hands on the handlebars and push any weight down through my arms.

Hey – I’m working on my fitness, not image!

I started out with rides of just 2-3 minutes each day and within a couple of weeks was doing 10-20 minutes every other day. If I can’t get in the pool – the bike will have to do.

Dr D is obviously happy with how things are progressing. Although that tiny bit of the scar on my left side has still not healed completely. As such – a relax in the pool is still out of the question. (You know with the chlorine and, ahh – tinted bodily fluid….)

My next follow-up appointment is three weeks away. At first – I go into a bit of a tailspin – I’ve seen him & Andrea each week for the best part of the last three months. In hindsight – this is actually a bit of a milestone.

He’s giving my body and me, time to get back into the day-to-day routine.

I’ve graduated from handing my dirty plates to Paul, to washing up myself. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but these most mundane of tasks haven’t really been on my ‘to-do list’ of late.

As it turns out taking the washing downstairs, loading up the machine, operating the dryer (okay my carbon footprint is on the increase – forget hanging clothes and linen outside for now!), folding and carting upstairs requires a mammoth amount of effort. In fact, it took almost an entire day (between sleep/rest) to get through just one load.

With a bit of help to lift pots and pans, I’m back to making dinner etc. One of the first meals attempted was a good old fashioned roast (enough of the pre-prepared, frozen & re-heated curries etc.) Thought you might like to see Paul’s creative ‘plating-up’.

What would the MasterChef judges think?!

The pain and discomfort I experienced during the ‘infill’ process (particularly round two), meant I was not very sociable for the first 3-4 days after each procedure. (Okay – I was a right snot.) I then had a couple of days of feeling not too bad, before the next go.

One well-timed, laughter-filled visit is captured below.

Mick ‘the cleaner’ (just rolls off the tongue – he’s been cleaning at the station from day 1!), Ange and Keegan.

Big Mick found it just hilarious that I’d had the cast done and was slightly flushed when he asked if he could ‘touch it’? With Paul’s permission (funny that hey – not mine?!) He, well – had a feel.

We laughed lots, at many things. Including the fact that the expanders feel cold and hard. Somehow we came to agree that I (or my new cleavage) would be very handy should you need your drink kept well chilled!

I’ve been pretty much housebound since the surgery, venturing only to the surgeon’s rooms and back. I was determined this had to change so we could visit our favourite place – Mount Tamborine one particular Sunday.

You see our special friends Jon and Kim Heslop who own and run Witches Falls Winery were hosting their annual Members’ Day and I didn’t want to miss out!

A bit of pain relief on board and floaties in position, we set off up the hill. The run up I’d rather forget (I’m sure Paul would too!) however being able to enjoy that beautiful crisp mountain air, a bit of sunshine, good company etc. was worth it.

I know I’m holding the glass of my favourite pinot – but it was Paul’s. Unfortunately, the painkillers meant this shot was just for show!

Day 5 following the surgery.

I figured if I was going to get home – I had to be able to make it to the entry/exit of the hospital on my own. So, very early, off I trotted. Actually, my walk had a kind of ‘roll’ to it. Whilst I was steady on my feet, I liken the action to a toddler taking their first real walk, as opposed to staggered steps. You know when you can just predict that one wrong step – and they’ll be flat on their face? That’s what I felt like.

It took an incredible amount of focus to stay upright and I couldn’t for the life of me work out why? Blame it on the medication. No! I should be able to make it down the corridor.

I did make it to the doors and back unassisted. It wasn’t until returning to my room and sifting through some of the information provided by the National Breast Cancer Foundation that I put two and two together. I wasn’t a ‘drug-affected toddler’, but rather my centre of gravity had changed due to the removal of my breasts. My body was working so hard in order to maintain the upright position because my balance was totally out of whack.

Reasonable – but also kinda funny when you put the reality and then the image together!

Nurse Andrea (who’d also looked after me following Operation #2) helped me get dressed (real clothes, not jarmies!) and finalised the paperwork for my release. (Sounds like I’d been in jail!)

She is one of many who showed not only professionalism, but a truly remarkable level of compassion during my time at Pindara.

I was just thrilled to be free of all the tubes etc. Paul on the other hand was exhausted.

He’d visited me before work, at lunch and after clocking off for the day. He was delirious. And this – was bound to happen!

Can’t say he wasn’t ‘creative’ in finding another use for the ‘floaties’!

Getting bored easily is one of my strongest character traits (good or bad depending on the situation!)

When unable to sleep, I was glad to be physically able to write. Although I’m right-handed and my right underarm was particularly sore from the removal of lymph nodes, I just jotted down what I could, when I could. (No thriller, or romance novel I assured the nurses! Just recording what was going on around me so I didn’t lose track).

Oh – and the special ‘pillows’ have been nicknamed ‘floaties’. Floaties for grown ups who’ve lost their boobs. I enjoyed so much comfort from this one I was given before the surgery, one of the nurses managed to find another for my other side. I was very grateful.