Dirty 30 – CLEAN SHAVE

Dirty 30 – CLEAN SHAVE.

I’m feeling….?

Okay, so I have worked in the ‘traditional’ media for the bulk of my adult life.

Earlier tonight I posted an update on social media – Instagram/Twitter/Facebook (InstaTwitFace:-) regarding the next surgery….

The amount of ‘likes/shares’ have made me sit up straight…Seriously?!

I’m pretty pleased to be at this point!!

Thank you………..KCx

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Crazy dream

It’s no secret some of the medication I’m on is really wreaking havoc with my thought processes.  So, I guess it’s no surprise that I’ve had a shocker of a dream.  You know the kind where you wake having been completely perplexed, taken aback at the imagery and confused by what it really meant?

I’d gone back to working at a radio station.  In the newsroom.  I was on-air with an announcer I thoroughly enjoyed working with in my previous life.

The screen froze – no script (what once was my worst nightmare.)

I looked up for the announcer to help, have a conversation (save me!) – but through the glass I saw a sea of faces I didn’t recognise.

They were all staring…….at what?

I looked down.  My top had slid down to reveal my bare, disfigured chest.

I’m not even going to try and analyse this one!

 

So excited I’ve got SHIVERS!

What a week it’s been!

I’ve seen a Rheumatologist to try and get on top of this bone pain.  Cortisone injections, and all manner of other medications….Exhausted just thinking about when to take what.  I guess that’s just part of my life now.

I also caught up with a good friend who’s a journalist.  Happy to say she was enthralled with the whole concept of ‘Pink Polar’.  Knows a good story alright!

Then, a call to my dear friend at the McGrath Foundation, explaining the intention behind the Expedition. It was so wonderful to be so warmly received.  There are some incredibly special people working in this field and this lady is one of them:-)

Paul and I shared a truly memorable dinner with Geoff, his wife Sarah and children Jade, Java and Kitale.  What an amazing family!  I know I’ll write more on them in the future, but for now – my head and heart are full as a result of our time together.

A networking breakfast provided more inspiration from Steve ‘Ando’ Anderson (three-time Olympic Beach Volleyball Coach, Olympic Gold and Bronze Medal Coach) – who encouraged us all to ‘be deliberate’.  So, deliberate I was in telling him (and anyone else who’d care to listen) about this amazing project!!   

The next buzz came from the McGrath Foundation – confirming interest in what we have proposed.  That’s a good thing!!  ’cause I know there are some organisations which would run a million miles from the ‘potential controversy’ a project like this could bring.  Surely they also realise our intention is good, that there are two dedicated souls involved and that my cancer experience could be used to assist in continuing Jane’s legacy (my goodness I feel presumptuous even thinking that let alone writing it – but I hope you understand what I mean).

Top off this week with a visit from Mr Hickson. Two old ‘media tarts’ (to borrow a phrase from former Qld Premier Peter Beattie [or Peety Betta as I once accidentally called him on air!]) having a good old fashioned catch up on the world.

Tired?  Yep.  Inspired? Yep. Determined? You have to ask?!!!

Ready for anything….(almost!)

I’ve written in the past, about how there’s now a heavy weight in my everyday, which didn’t exist ‘BC’.  It’s not to say that I was carefree, just that the realities of cancer were not the constant in my life they now are.
In a way, thinking about life beyond BC treatment is far more interesting than my safe, very structured and somewhat predictable life before.
I’m not so bothered by the fear of feeling silly, of failing or of others’ opinions.
I’m far more open to exploring new challenges, my full potential if you like.

Day of contrast…

What an extraordinary day of contrast.
Via text message, I learned of a difficult time being experienced by a dear friend.  It simply read; she’d found a lump, it had been looked at under ultrasound and her surgeon wanted it biopsied ASAP.
My heart sank, as my mind raced with thoughts of what the last few days would have been like for her and her family.
The emotions were very raw, as I recalled that this special lady had two years ago undergone a prophylactic double mastectomy, followed by surgery to remove her ovaries.  She has a strong family history of breast cancer, having lost her Mother to the disease approximately five years ago.
This woman has been a tremendous support for me this time around.  She’s one of the good ones and that 2.8mm lump – whatever it is – has already caused her a great deal of shock and fear.
I’ll admit to shedding a few tears for her.  With every bit of my being, I hope it’s a cyst or something inconsequential.
In stark contrast, I then went on to have an incredibly inspiring meeting with another equally impressive human being.
So exciting was this energetic chat over a plate of chicken and cashews at the local Malay restaurant, that I left wanting to yell from the rooftops about one of the most incredible adventures EVER!
More on that to come……..

‘Friendship’

It can take on so many different forms, huh?
I’ve written before that cancer brings out the best and worst in people.
The last six months, and in particular the last month or so has taught me a LOT about human nature.
So heart-warming it is to have some wonderful, life-long, true friends.  Being able to rely on these bonds is a lovely support.  Connecting with these people in times when I really could do with a friend, is like snuggling into a warm, comfy bed during a violent electrical storm.
I’ve also made some new friends since my first diagnosis – who I know will also be around for years to come.
The Big C, it’s obvious, is too much for others to deal with/cope with/handle etc.  Not personally – it’s me that has it, yet they can’t seem to find a way to maintain a relationship I perhaps ridiculously thought was rather important.
I’m unbelievably sad to be in this situation, with more than one person.
Devastated is not too strong a word.
I can’t make anyone care about me more than they actually do and just don’t have the energy to fight this front – I’m busy fighting cancer.

Creative juices still flowing…

I’m sorry ‘Kate Carlyle Creations’ has been a little quiet of late.

In spite of wonderful support from my family and some great friends, the business has had to take a bit of a back seat.  A second diagnosis of Breast Cancer earlier this year has required some pretty intensive treatment and a whole lotta focus.

Yes – the label has been MIA from some of the fabulous events we like to attend (including Ruffled Bazaar!), but rest assured in my ‘down time’ – my brain is still very active!

I’m really looking forward to having the strength to unroll some more beautiful fabrics, cut some unique designs and create some more gorgeous pieces.

Thanks for your ongoing support.

KCx

No news is good news (unless you’re a journo!)

I kid you not – my lovely Medical Oncologist said to me today ‘I guess Kate, it’s a case of no news is good news’.
In a flash, I was reminded of how different my circumstances are right now, compared to just a few short years ago in the News Room.
(Not exactly ‘newsworthy’ – but a fun little yarn & photo opp. anyway!)
His comment came in a discussion about how I explain to others, my cancer status from here.
Basically;
  • The tumour is gone (thanks to Dr D’s surgeries),
  • My system’s been hammered to get rid of any other cancer cells (thanks to chemotherapy – fried from the inside, out),
  • And the area local to the tumour – which equates to about half my chest/torso, is about to be targeted with super-strong x-rays to zap any cancer cells which may like to spring up in the problem zone (Radiotherapy – fried from the outside, in!)
Years ago – the ‘C’ word used to mean cancer and many were scared to use it.  We often forget the other ‘C’ word which is used very carefully in any medical consultation.  Bless Dr D for his efforts to cure me this time and first time around.  I understand, as he said ‘shitty things happen to nice people’.  I’m not going to ask for any declarations of cure from anyone.  That is grossly unfair.
I hope you all understand too.

Independence Day…

It’s Independence Day – not just for the Americans.  Today – 04/07/2012 is #6 of 6 in my chemotherapy regime.

I should be excited – but I’m sick.

The last chemotherapy session should be cause for celebration, but I’m yet to ride out the effects of the last treatment as I brace for this final hit.  Still, I manage to smile (not quite as broadly as Paul though!)

KC & Paul

As thankful as I am to the wonderful team of nurses who’ve looked after me in that unit, I can’t seem to find the energy to say “YAY – it’s time to get out of here”.  You see, I’ve got some idea of what the next few weeks are going to be like.  The celebrations will come after I’m over the worst.

Before I could do a runner, I had a bit of a reaction again.  So scary.

Thankfully Elke and the team were onto it quickly and the oxygen helped me chill a bit (rude interruption while I was trying to fill out the patient satisfaction survey!).