‘Friendship’

It can take on so many different forms, huh?
I’ve written before that cancer brings out the best and worst in people.
The last six months, and in particular the last month or so has taught me a LOT about human nature.
So heart-warming it is to have some wonderful, life-long, true friends.  Being able to rely on these bonds is a lovely support.  Connecting with these people in times when I really could do with a friend, is like snuggling into a warm, comfy bed during a violent electrical storm.
I’ve also made some new friends since my first diagnosis – who I know will also be around for years to come.
The Big C, it’s obvious, is too much for others to deal with/cope with/handle etc.  Not personally – it’s me that has it, yet they can’t seem to find a way to maintain a relationship I perhaps ridiculously thought was rather important.
I’m unbelievably sad to be in this situation, with more than one person.
Devastated is not too strong a word.
I can’t make anyone care about me more than they actually do and just don’t have the energy to fight this front – I’m busy fighting cancer.
Advertisements

Creative juices still flowing…

I’m sorry ‘Kate Carlyle Creations’ has been a little quiet of late.

In spite of wonderful support from my family and some great friends, the business has had to take a bit of a back seat.  A second diagnosis of Breast Cancer earlier this year has required some pretty intensive treatment and a whole lotta focus.

Yes – the label has been MIA from some of the fabulous events we like to attend (including Ruffled Bazaar!), but rest assured in my ‘down time’ – my brain is still very active!

I’m really looking forward to having the strength to unroll some more beautiful fabrics, cut some unique designs and create some more gorgeous pieces.

Thanks for your ongoing support.

KCx

No news is good news (unless you’re a journo!)

I kid you not – my lovely Medical Oncologist said to me today ‘I guess Kate, it’s a case of no news is good news’.
In a flash, I was reminded of how different my circumstances are right now, compared to just a few short years ago in the News Room.
(Not exactly ‘newsworthy’ – but a fun little yarn & photo opp. anyway!)
His comment came in a discussion about how I explain to others, my cancer status from here.
Basically;
  • The tumour is gone (thanks to Dr D’s surgeries),
  • My system’s been hammered to get rid of any other cancer cells (thanks to chemotherapy – fried from the inside, out),
  • And the area local to the tumour – which equates to about half my chest/torso, is about to be targeted with super-strong x-rays to zap any cancer cells which may like to spring up in the problem zone (Radiotherapy – fried from the outside, in!)
Years ago – the ‘C’ word used to mean cancer and many were scared to use it.  We often forget the other ‘C’ word which is used very carefully in any medical consultation.  Bless Dr D for his efforts to cure me this time and first time around.  I understand, as he said ‘shitty things happen to nice people’.  I’m not going to ask for any declarations of cure from anyone.  That is grossly unfair.
I hope you all understand too.

Independence Day…

It’s Independence Day – not just for the Americans.  Today – 04/07/2012 is #6 of 6 in my chemotherapy regime.

I should be excited – but I’m sick.

The last chemotherapy session should be cause for celebration, but I’m yet to ride out the effects of the last treatment as I brace for this final hit.  Still, I manage to smile (not quite as broadly as Paul though!)

KC & Paul

As thankful as I am to the wonderful team of nurses who’ve looked after me in that unit, I can’t seem to find the energy to say “YAY – it’s time to get out of here”.  You see, I’ve got some idea of what the next few weeks are going to be like.  The celebrations will come after I’m over the worst.

Before I could do a runner, I had a bit of a reaction again.  So scary.

Thankfully Elke and the team were onto it quickly and the oxygen helped me chill a bit (rude interruption while I was trying to fill out the patient satisfaction survey!).

Bald & Bubbly

Yep – the hair’s coming off….
This is what I looked like 8 years ago when I did the ‘Shave for a Cure’ for my friend Catherine, who was battling Acute Myeloid Leukemia…
Happy to report Catherine’s now going great guns!!!
Here’s what happened this afternoon….
My friend Di (former colleague at Cancer Council Queensland and P/T hairdresser), came to visit – with clippers in hand…
Some people have questioned the ‘need’ to do this now, as in before the hair loss effects of chemotherapy kick in.  Yes – there’s a need!
As you know – I’ve tried to be as prepared as possible for everything this disease throws at me.  Choosing to have my head shaved is part of that preparation.  It’s a mental preparation.  I can’t control that every other bit of hair on my body will disappear (including my eyelashes – with I’m kinda fond of….), but this I can take the upper hand on.
Also – many who’ve had chemo tell me that the hair follicles become very sensitive as the hair starts to fall out in clumps.  I’ll be buggered if I’m going to wait for that, then let someone run vibrating clippers over my sore head.  No thanks!
I understand for many women in particular, this is a seriously confronting time.  A nurse suggested to me that I was brave and that appearance, hair loss & body image with cancer are such difficult things to negotiate…I agree.  But – body image to me is not about my hair. It just isn’t.  I wake up in this cancer-affected body every day.

‘Two Jugs’

While my energy levels are on the decline, there’s a bit more energy in our home of late – meet Liliana (Lila for short)….

We love the name Lila, but she’s actually named in honour of Dr de Viana:)  (couldn’t call her ‘Daniel’ – Liliana sounds like de Viana….)  

She’s 9 weeks old.

Lila is a JUG (Jack Russell x Pug).  Before you point out the bleeding obvious – I KNOW!!!  The irony with having lost two breasts and now having two dogs – both ‘Jugs’ IS funny!!!  

Ch’i & Lila are getting used to each other and providing much entertainment.

 

Night away…

So…..another diagnosis + a couple of surgeries and overload of information on possible treatment doesn’t exactly make for a relaxed way to mark a decade of marriage.
Paul had no idea, but with the help of a few people I managed to organise a night away.
Close to home, ridiculously indulgent & probably a bit ambitious – but we needed it.
Ohhh – I was just out of hospital and wasn’t very mobile – the maxi dress hid the not-so-sexy compression stockings!!