Like a lot of women – I’m partial to a bit of window shopping and when something really takes my fancy, splurging (within reason) on whatever that may be.
The ‘shopping’ experience I’ve just had was rather unusual though – selecting the implants which will soon shape my new breasts.
While some mastectomy patients I’ve spoken to have been tempted to go and pick a set of ‘Pammy’s’ – that certainly isn’t the situation in my case.
Guided by my surgeon and breast care nurse, we decided on a ‘nice little C-Cup’.
The process of selection involved assessing my frame, discussing the implants volume (around 480 mills), shape (height, width & depth/projection. Ohh and we’re going for ‘teardrop’ rather than the old round ones) and their texture.
Initially it was expected Dr D would remove the tissue expanders and insert the implants by making another incision through the same scars. Unfortunately though, there’s not a lot of tissue between my skin and the expanders and it’s a bit too thin. So – he’ll be taking the safer option of starting from scratch underneath.
Reckon I’ve just scored myself another nickname – ‘quattro’.
I’m not overly thrilled at having an additional two scars underneath, but obviously none of this is about cosmetics! I’m also a bit disappointed at myself for not taking better care of the original scars (I looked after them – but maybe could have done more.) Although I taped the scars before going to the pool/gym – in hindsight I may have decided not to attempt so much.
It’s amazing how much all this can play on your mind. I was really tired last night, yet didn’t get much sleep. Bring on Monday!
What a legacy Jane McGrath has left.
I’m sure every Australian is aware of her courageous fight against breast cancer and saddened by her tragic passing in June, 2008.
Today – I’ve had the absolute honour of spending some time with her best friend Tracy Bevan, at a McGrath Foundation High Tea.
Tracy is fulfilling a very important promise she made to Jane, to continue the work of the McGrath Foundation – encouraging young women to be breast aware and raising funds to provide breast cancer patients and their families across the country with access to breast care nurses.
Having a deep understanding of exactly how achieving these two goals can and will help, meant today was very personal for me. I felt privileged to have shared some relaxed, casual and at times quite emotional discussions with Tracy.
I’m the same age Jane was when first diagnosed. Tracy’s tale of how Jane initially shared with her she thought something may be wrong, is actually quite similar to how I broached the subject with my dear friend Summer Lockley. As Jane faced the reality of a breast cancer diagnosis – Tracy was pregnant with her first child. As my journey began – Summer discovered she was pregnant with her first child. (Little Jaydon has since arrived!).
Events such as this High Tea help to raise the profile of organisations which are helping. To the many Foundations, Associations and Support Groups, their staff, volunteers and everyone who supports their work by making donations and offering other forms of assistance – thank you.
Not quite as revealing as Janet Jackson’s little ‘mishap’, but still hilarious!
Strapless dresses and tops are a staple in my wardrobe. I’ve never really had any boobs to put in them, so imagine how funny it felt to have this dress slide down over the ones which are ‘under construction’!
Kind of annoying – and not much I could do about it while I had my hands full trying to stuff the chilli’s for dinner.
(Paul’s getting very quick with the camera – we just never know when something laughable is going to pop up – or out!)
Everyone’s heard/read the slogans such as Go Pink for a Cause in support of Breast Cancer awareness month each October. Most have seen and perhaps purchased some of the merchandise – pink ribbons, wristbands, pens etc. Thank you. The monies raised contribute to not just research into a cure – but also support and treatment for people just like me.
This is part of the view which greeted me as I hopped up on stage at the recent breakfast event hosted by the local group Women In Tourism. Quite beautiful don’t you agree?
After writing many stories about Currumbin’s annual ‘Swell’ sculpture festival over the years – this year is the first I’ve actually been.
Paul and I chose to eat at a nearby cafe while reading through the program. Imagine our surprise when we read about this stunning exhibit by Ruth Park?!
Fittingly – it’s entitled ‘Self Examination’. Perhaps a little spooky though (for me anyway) – the subject is holding her right breast.
Standing beside this incredible sculpture in all its glory – was quite breathtaking.
Apologies for the lack of activity here – I have been a little on the busy side, which is great!
I’m managing to achieve a lot more of the day-to-day tasks (albeit under time-lapse conditions on occassions!), and reaching goals at work has become easier these past few weeks.
Part of the reason is most certainly that I’m feeling stronger by the day, another part is due to my negotiating tactics. I’m playing that old game of ‘what’s really important?’ and I guess learning not to be too hard on myself should things get on top of me.
Some of these skills have been highlighted in my weekly visits to the Cancer Council. It runs a support group under the guise of a ‘Healthy Active Living Program’. Every kind of expert from Occupational Therapists, to Physio’s, Social Workers, Dieticians etc. come and have a chat to the group of cancer patients. As well as having access to these professionals – it’s a great opportunity to share time and experiences with others in the same/similar boat. I’ve met some terrific, brave and lovely people. (And hope to share more about some of them in future posts).We also do a session of Tai Chi at each get-together – which I just love.
I’ve also been preparing a presentation for a special event, which occured this morning. Through a dear friend Kay Evans – I was asked be guest speaker at the Women In Tourism breakfast for October. (Breast Cancer Awareness month.) There was an amazingly positive vibe in the room which was a sea of pink! Paul and my Mum came along, as did some wonderfully supportive friends. I’m grateful for the opportunity to have shared a bit of my story with so many people from such a wide variety of industries and backgrounds, in an effort to help raise awareness.
Okay, not really.
I’ve been going once/twice a week and just doing some very light weights (with Dr D’s approval).
The pool is obviously great for stretching and the laps are excellent for my cardio fitness, but it’s my muscle strength that could do with a big hand before the next surgery.
I don’t make a habit of wearing my cap backwards, however with it and my ‘chest’ kind of getting in the way – something had to give!
3 1/2 months after going on what was supposed to be two weeks leave to have that bi-lateral lumpectomy – I returned to work on a part-time basis.
For reasons I am still yet to fully understand – this has been incredibly difficult.
I guess when you think about it though, a few weeks on holiday and most people feel a little strange getting back into the swing of things. After such a long absence, the trauma my body has been through in this time and the decisions I’ve been faced with have undoubtedly changed who I am. Kate – the information hungry perfectionist both on and off the air, had taken a back seat.
Even getting ready for that first day (okay – three hour stint) in the station had my emotions scrambled. My sleeping patterns are still quite disturbed – so a less than restful night before didn’t help. I chose some clothes (baggy top and dress pants) before showering. By the time I’d dried myself I was ready to hop back into bed. After fighting that urge – I got dressed, only to break down into tears when I looked in the mirror. For a moment instead of being pleased with how far I’d come – all I could see through the clothes was a disfigured body. I think subconsciously I feared everyone else would too.
Sitting at my desk I felt like a foreigner. The constant activity, noise, flow of information etc. was daunting to say the least.
In spite of the fact that I’ve been very open about my diagnosis and treatment, there were still a number of people in the station who weren’t aware of why I’d been away for so long. An after-the-fact explanation was awkward for both sides. Several co-workers showed a genuine concern by delicately asking how I was, others were clearly unsure of what to say and a few obviously found it easier to ignore me – as if pretending I wasn’t standing right in front of them might somehow make me invisible.
I’m sure most people in a similar situation to me have found their return to work taxing both physically and emotionally.
Towards the end of the first ‘shift’ I was tiring. I found even walking from the Newsroom up to the boardroom for a meeting required so much more effort than it used to.
For now, I’ll be doing this a couple of times per week – with a decent break in between.
Sloshing.
Yes – an official term referred to in much of the literature provided by many of the Breast Cancer support services.
I’d read about it, but not really appreciated exactly what it meant.
Let me try to explain.
Imagine two round hot water bottles (only cold) in your chest. Each time you bend/lean forward, to the side or backwards – the fluid within – moves. That, is sloshing.
Some of these movements I’ve discovered, can bring on an immediate wave of nausea. It stops me in my tracks. Rather than giving into it – I try to laugh at the strangeness of the sensation.
Blessing is – it won’t continue with the permanent silicone implants.
Bring on October 19!
KATE CARLYLE 